Why AOC sharing her story threatens people.

 

There has been a severe backlash towards Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez, or AOC, sharing the story of her sexual assault and how she threatened during the terrorist attack on the Capital Building. Just last night the hashtag "AOC lied" was trending on social media. This toxic ideology can be traced back to two popular creation stories. Think of Adam and Eve and how it is Eve who responsible for the end of Paradise because of her tricking Adam into eating the forbidden fruit. Think of Pandora's box, and how Pandora's inquisitiveness leads to her opening the box and dooming humanity. These creation stories establish two precedents that too often guide our society: women are deceitful and women should be quiet. And what do you know: the accusations against AOC are that she is lying and that she should shut up. 

Pandora's dooming of humanity

These toxic ideals reverberate throughout our media. Think of how often you have heard authoritative women be called "bitches" versus how often you have heard authoritative men be called "assholes" or some such equivalent. Too often our society seems to view women as things that should be put on display robbed of voice. This is present in so many of our films and tv where women are subject to what Laura Mulvey calls "the male gaze." I urge you that when you watch films and tv, think of how often women are the ones being looked at by men versus vice versa. Once you start to notice it, it truly becomes troubling. It might make you uncomfortable, but that is good. That is beginning to realize the media we consume is too often skewed in one uncomfortable direction. By speaking out, AOC is destroying this popular perception in our society. She is refusing to let herself just be an object on display. Instead she is showing that she is a person with feelings that need to be taken seriously. That so many cannot handle that shows just messed up our society is.

Think of every day words and expressions like "grow a pair [i.e. balls]" or the more brazen the person has "balls" to do something. These expressions suggest that to have courage or strength one must be a man. To not have them, there is something wrong with the person or that they are weak. See also the expression "be a man" meaning to be strong and responsible. How often do we hear "be a woman"? Constant everyday expressions that consistently function as a way to degrade women often subliminally. Like it or not, language has power and shapes the way we think. AOC showed tremendous courage speaking out, but that goes against what too many in our society believe. Thus people rather than adjusting their expectations, seek to tear her down by claiming she lied. 

By sharing her story, AOC is upending what is traditionally expected of women. And that is the key. Our society has mostly grown to be perfectly comfortable telling girls that they can be whatever they want, but that message is often distorted by how our society actually treats the girls once they have grown into women. And that needs to change. We need to support women when they share their stories and we need to rebuke those who seek to tear down women who show strength. We should do better and we can do better. Below are some things I try to do to be a better ally though I know I am far from perfect. Women who read this, please let me what more I can do.

1. Avoid interrupting women. When you do, note it, and try not to do it again.

2. Read as many texts on women's experiences as possible. Educate yourself on what it is like to be harassed on the street or to be shamed for being angry about things or just to live a world designed for men by men. 

3. Keep track of the male gaze in movies and tv. Keep track of how many women speaking parts there are to men speaking parts.

4. Listen and be supportive of the stories women tell about their experiences.

5. Avoid sexist language like "grow a pair" or "pussyfooting around the issue."

6. Avoid focusing on women politician's fashion choices or looks or voice. Actually focus on what they have to say.